Lesson on a sad day
Sometimes people ask if or when I get lonely on the road. Since I have been traveling for almost two years, it seems to be fair curiosity. But when I think about it, I realize that it hardly happens. Yes, there were demanding situations where things could have been solved more easily if I had had company. And yes, there were special experiences which I wished I could have shared in real-time with someone who understood me on a deep level. But these wishes do not qualify as ‘being lonely’ for me – they are more of inconveniences or unfortunate feelings. So this suggests that I somehow find my current style of traveling self-sufficient. Or perhaps one of my old beliefs, ‘life is a solo journey anyways’, keeps my expectations low.
But there is one situation where I clearly feel lonely: when my traveling buddy has just left. It is the moment when doing anything alone feels unnatural or lacking something. For the last few weeks, my close friend had joined me in some Eastern European countries. It was already our 6th or 7th time we traveled together overseas, but it surprises me that each time I discover new things about my friend, myself, and our relationship.
Being carried away by the initial excitement of reunion, I think I made the mistake once again of letting myself be convinced that we knew and understood each other very well. It might be a true statement in general, but when practically living with someone, this belief did not allow me to be attentive to his needs and sources of discomfort that I was not too familiar with. Rather, it let myself amplify my expectations and focus of my feelings of disappointment.
To cultivate and keep a healthy relationship, I remembered that one needs to put oneself in the other’s shoes, not just because it sounds morally desirable to do so, but because it promotes the mutually-attentive energy, a crucial element to combat confusion and emotional exhaustion.
So, on this ‘sad’ day, I am grateful to have learned again this classic lesson and to have added new stories in our travel memories.
with Namho
@ Pulkovo Aiport, St. Petersburg, Russia, August 12, 2019
