Anxiety and Appreciation
Driving at night is riskier in general. For overlanders, it is especially not recommended because you are not familiar with the road conditions, you probably don’t speak the local language, and sometimes you pass areas with no cell signal, which is dangerous in case of emergency. Despite this advice, many travelers including myself often drive at night because many things just don’t go as planned. One of the frequent culprits is not wanting to leave a place so soon during the day. And today, I wanted to walk around in Monaco just a bit longer.
But hours later I was faced with the inevitable reality- the sun set when I had 3+ hours of driving left. Worse, what was ahead was hours of winding roads in mountains, and at some point, I need to cross the border between France and Italy, although there is probably no stopping there because the countries are in the Schengen Zone.
When passing a small town, suddenly there was an oncoming car that looked quite fat for the mountain road we were sharing. While keeping the minimum safe distance from it, I heard my car scratching the wall on my right. I thought it was probably only the tires and the damage was probably not significant, but to make sure, I stopped the car on the next safe shoulder for further inspection.
The moment I stepped out of the car, I realized that I had been driving along a deep gorge the whole night. And I also realized that there was a big stream of water just next to the road. I couldn’t see the water well, but the ´big flowing black body´ was filling the gorge with a loud water noise. The darkness, the sound, and the cold air gave me a sudden scare, so I hurried the inspection and got back into the car.
During the rest of the night, however, I was actually thinking about how much I am going to miss tonight’s experience when in the future. The darkness, the solitude, the anxiety about arrival, and the intimidating smells of nature would only seem to have made my night a special memory, which I cannot ever live again. In fact, how grateful I should feel that I am traveling the world in one of the most unique ways while learning about myself!
But often times, the appreciation of special moments are masked by the anxiety from the logistical challenges and uncertainties when traveling. For sure logistical goals are important, but looking back, I think I could have enjoyed more the warm weather and the pretty streets in Guadalajara, Mexico, even though I was sick then. I think I could have appreciated better the beautiful nature in Taraza, Colombia, even though I was preoccupied with repairing my car, after the collision with a surprised cow.
So the anxiety and appreciation seem to go hand in hand, and one might say that what I am doing every day is perfecting the art of harmonizing the two, while not being overwhelmed by either. And this seems to be a useful skill in life.
* the first photo was taken around the Gorges of Paganin * the second photo was taken around the sunset.
@ Gorges de Paganin, France, March 28, 2019
